Dude. So I'm up to 5 babies now, and I did another repair today that went much better! It helps if you change your delivery gloves after the placenta and before the suturing, so you don't have stickyness all over you when you start. Ohhh. Right.
Anyways, I didn't cry at the two births I had today. I guess I was just concentrating really hard. (I didn't let the arms fly out on either this time, but on one of them, she blasted the head out way fast, and I should have told her to slow it down.) I hope I'm not getting over it or something. I mean, it was still really great, but I can't cry every day I suppose.
So tomorrow I switched shifts with another tall skinny girl and I'm going to drive to NC to see my Grandma in the hospital, just in case anyone wanted to come rob my nice dark room while I'm gone. Actually we have this really fancy alarm system that will even go off if my fake window gets cracked, so don't even think about it, pal. My dirty clothes are SAFE.
Mom said Grandma has a lot of cancer now, and the docs are starting to talk about hospice, so that's why I'm going.
Tonight when I got home I talked with my roommate for a long time about why she quit being a social worker. She always says she started really young, and she got burned out. Makes me nervous. I kept trying to get her to nail it down, what she meant by burnout, even though I think I know. It's when you give a job your best shot and it ends up disappointing you over and over, right? And the rewards are not satisfying enough to make your investment worth it? I don't know. Do any of my fabulous commenters have a different definition?
Another interesting thing today. I read this article about making movies a part of medical students' education. It was in some hokey journal, and the author was saying that making future docs watch movies like the Fisher King, Wit, and The Philadelphia Story will make them more compassionate when they actually take care of homeless people, end-stage cancer patients, and AIDS patients, rather than annoyed or depressed. The theory was something like, these movies jazz up your idealism, and those good feelings make you more empathic with your patients. But the reverse wasn't true, like if you watch One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest all day you won't be motivated to be a jerk to your patients. If you read the article, tell me what you think of the conclusion; it seemed to say if you think of your life as noble and important then it'll probably be that way in the end. They called it the Don Quixote effect.
So, don't anybody tell Glenn Stegall about this, because I want to tell him and see what complicated film theory it reminds him of. That way I'll have something to think about in the car on the way to work.
2 comments:
I think burnout can happen when you become too emotionally involved in your work. That's why social workers experience it so much- dealing with trauma and depressing situations can really get to you. A social worker either has to ignore it and feel like a jerk, or take it all in and feel completely overwhelmed with sorrow. So maybe it's good that you don't cry at every birth? Great blog by the way- you are so funny!
If you put on 2 sets of gloves before you start with the birth you can take off the placenta soiled ones and you'll still be suited up for sewing with minimal time loss. Re burnout- it's not really becoming emotionally envolved that will burn you out as much as becoming attached to results that are different than reality, the attachment can actually energize you if other areas of your life are stable(sleeping,eating,keeping some sort of fun and some kind of activity present) so your life is not defined by just the unfortunate events that ocurr.
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